There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
