Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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