Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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