tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
