just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Princesses don't give blow jobs
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
