i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
