we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
