sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
