I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
