So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
