yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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