I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
