I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
