The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
