hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
