Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
