Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
