i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
