bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
