tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
