Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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