me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
