He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
