There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
how drunk are you?
Several
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
