Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
