Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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