Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
