Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
