Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
