Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
