She announced her abortion via fbk
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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