if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
