Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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