I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
How's work?
Spinning.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
