So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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