yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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