She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We named our party play list daddy issues
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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