so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
