I have demons in me.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think people are normalizing furries
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
