i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
