I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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