all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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