Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
