Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Farmville is her only friend.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
should my penis look like a turkey
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
