Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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