everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
