i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
