I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
