Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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