Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
