So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
