What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
