So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
